Seen, Not Heard

Have you ever heard the expression that children should be seen, not heard?

It’s a mindset that has plagued generations of parents, perpetuating a cycle of unheard children who, later, also fail to listen.

It’s a mindset that confuses the word respect with obedience.

In this post, you’ll have identifiers so you can name the ways you might have experienced this emotional neglect around being heard, as well as how they’re showing up in adulthood.

You’ll also have access to key positive affirmations to begin or continue the process of reversing your internal settings, for a more balanced, happier you through throat chakra healing.

Let’s get started.

Common Childhood Experiences

Maybe you relate immediately to the notion of feeling unheard.

If you’re not sure, did any of these types of scenarios happen repeatedly in your upbringing?

Dismissing Emotional Pain
being told you’re being dramatic or it’s not a big deal when you expressed being upset about something
Invalidating Physical Pain
being told you’re fine or to toughen up when you hurt yourself (like scraping your knee)
Ignoring/Downplaying Excitement
your caregiver barely looking at or acknowledging something you made that you’re excited/proud to show them
Downplaying Social/Peer Issues
you feel left out that you weren’t invited to a party, but your caregiver shrugs it off or says you’re being silly
Using Threats to Suppress Sadness
you’re crying after a toy breaks, & your caregiver says they’ll give you something to cry about instead of comforting you
Labeling Natural Reactions as Over-Sensitivity
your feelings are hurt by someone, but your caregiver says you’re too sensitive & to just not let it bother you
Forcing Unwanted Social Interactions
you don’t want to hug someone but are told “not to be rude”
Shutting Down Disagreements
you respectfully respond to your caregiver by disagreeing with something, but they take it as confrontation, or say they know better & won’t entertain further discussion
Ignoring or Invalidating Fears
being told you’re being a baby & there’s nothing to be afraid of
Invalidating Feelings of Overwhelm
you express feeling overwhelmed by school work, but your caregiver says it’s easy compared to the real world & you’ll be fine

Sound familiar?

Children aren’t equipped to understand why the adults in their life act this way. Often, they internalize these interactions as normal, even when it doesn’t feel good.

And it carries over as they grow up. Let’s look at how it can manifest.

The Aftermath in Adulthood

Feeling unheard and invalidated by those closest to you have detrimental effects on development.

This can show up in numerous ways:

Feeling unimportant or like you don’t matter
Doubting yourself & your own emotional validity
People-pleasing
Avoiding any potential confrontation
Feeling like your thoughts & opinions don’t matter
Feeling like your happiness is secondary to other’s
Difficulty forming deep or close bonds with others
Becoming overly self-reliant as a way to avoid risking rejection
Fear of rejection
Heightened social anxiety
Unfulfilled sense of self due to inhibited self-expression
Dysregulation - unable to handle intense emotions

If you experience any items on this list, know that you’re not alone & it’s not your fault.

However, it is your responsibility to unlearn the negative thought patterns that make up your current way of being.

The best way to start? Shift your mindset through positivity & repetition.

Keep reading to get started. 💖

How Positive Affirmations Work

Positive affirmations work through the process of repeating the opposite beliefs of the ones we already have.

For most people, they end up with some pretty negative beliefs about themselves or the world by the time they’re adults.

The negative beliefs also came through repetition, such as the childhood scenarios listed earlier.

Your brain is hardwired to take the fastest, easiest route to process anything. The more you have a particular thought, the more familiar it is to the brain, and as a result, the quicker/easier choice it is.

By repeating newer, positive statements, you’re practicing making those thoughts more and more familiar. eventually, the more you practice, the more easily you’ll think & believe them over the outdated thoughts.

Again, this is a practice.

If you’re new to this, then know that there may be feelings of discomfort or awkwardness with stating phrases that go against what you’ve always known to be true.

Give it time. Give it consistency. Give it faith.

You’ve got this!

Positive Affirmations

So you’re ready to affirm & reclaim your voice. That’s seriously awesome.

For the following affirmations, it’s ideal to use these every day. For how long? Until you notice that these new thoughts are replacing the old ones. Until you know in your heart that your voice & feelings matter, & you honor them instead of rushing to please others.

You can say the affirmations out loud, write them down, or even record and listen to them.

Happy affirming!

Repeat After Me

My voice is my most powerful asset.
I am always allowed to share my point of view.
My opinions are just as valid as anyone else’s.
I speak up for myself.
I’m allowed to express the fullness of my emotions.
I deserve to speak and be heard.
I say yes when I mean yes, and no when I mean no.
My emotions exist for a reason.
I release the need to please others.
I am able to handle big emotions by feeling & releasing them.
I express my emotions in healthy ways.
My opinion of myself is the only one that matters.
I am my best when I am authentic.
It is safe to be me.
By being myself, I make others feel safe to be authentic.
How others react to me is not my responsibility.
What others think of me is none of my business.
I am respectful of others and they are respectful of me.
I voice my needs without fear.
I voice my opinions without shame.
If others judge me, they are not for me.
By being genuine, I attract who and what is meant for me.
Disagreements are windows to conversation, not confrontation.
It is not confrontational to voice a disagreement.
I am more authentic every day.
I trust myself.
I enjoy speaking from my heart.
How others speak to me is only a reflection of them.
I’m allowed to choose who is in my life.
I speak kindly to myself and others.
I am compassionate with myself and others.
I am comfortable being myself.
What I think matters.
I am confident.
The more I speak up, the more confident I feel.
I can show vulnerability to others.
I trust myself to know who to be vulnerable with.
My inner wisdom guides my speech.
I release the pattern of overthinking.
I only need my own approval.
I have a unique perspective to offer.
My journey is valuable.
My experience is worth sharing.
I love getting to know myself better.
I listen to myself and honor my feelings.
Saying no doesn’t make me a mean or bad person.
I’m allowed to say no without guilt.
I am patient with myself.
I have always deserved to speak up.
I advocate for myself.
I enjoy expressing myself.
I always know what to say.
I enjoy getting to know others, & they enjoy getting to know me.
Small talk is an easy stepping stone to deeper connection.
When I let myself be me, new opportunities find me.

Throat Chakra Healing Is an Affirmation Away

Picture this: you’re in a group that’s having an excited discussion about something close to you. Instead of shying away from participating, you insert your comments when you feel called to. No sweating. No worrying. Just honoring your voice and authenticity.

This inner calm isn’t as far away as you think.

Use these affirmations daily, and trust the benefits to unfold.

Your uniqueness is needed in this world.

Don’t let it go to waste.

Throat Chakra Healing: 50+ Positive Affirmations